


The Great Thing About Your Clothes Is They're Almost As Loud As Your Mouth

by DontOffendTheBees



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Drabble, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:02:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11520309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontOffendTheBees/pseuds/DontOffendTheBees
Summary: “We don’t wanna draw attention to ourselves.”“Which is exactly why weshoulddraw attention to ourselves.”





	The Great Thing About Your Clothes Is They're Almost As Loud As Your Mouth

**Author's Note:**

> just a lil silly happy thing because I am in SUCH a GOOD MOOD today holy hell!!!
> 
> thanks backatthebein for the prompt!! ^_^

 

“You don’t think those are a little obvious?”

Dirk, currently caught between the Day-Glo pink shirt and the one with dolphins on it, frowned at him in bewilderment. “…How so?”

“Dirk, we’re supposed to be  _inconspicuous,”_ said Todd, rolling his eyes. “This investigation’s gonna be over real quickly if the guys we’re tailing catch us out right away.”

“And why would they catch us out?”

“Because you’re dressed like an  _actual_ cartoon?” 

“You act as if that’s a bad thing!”

“It  _is_ if we’re trying not to be noticed,” said Todd, rifling through the rack of good, reliable flannel shirts he’d honed in on the second they walked in, seeking out the least eye-catching colors. “We don’t wanna draw attention to ourselves.”

“Which is exactly why we  _should_ draw attention to ourselves.”

Todd blinked. “…What?”

 _“Think_ about it, Todd,” Dirk began, with a surprising amount of confidence considering he was almost certainly about to say something insane. “What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of  _inconspicuous_ clothes?”

“Normal stuff- everyday stuff, dull colors. Same thing  _everyone_ thinks of. Except you, apparently-”

“Precisely!” Dirk exclaimed, raising his finger triumphantly. “ _Everyone_ thinks that! Just as everyone thinks of bright, unusual and ostentatious clothing as  _conspicuous,_ correct?”

“Yes…”

“So, tell me,” he said, leaning in. “If  _you_ were a shady smuggler and  _you_ noticed two attractive chaps in dashing,  _conspicuous_ outfits loitering outside your base of operations in plain sight; would  _you_ assume that they were investigating you? Or would you assume, rather fairly, that no spy in their right  _mind_ would ever wear something quite so ostentatious?”

He raised his eyebrows in challenge, with a little smirk that a traitorous part of Todd’s mind seriously wanted to kiss off his stupid face. But he fought off the instinct, and managed to hold his gaze disapprovingly for a solid twelve seconds.

He didn’t quite make it to thirteen before he sighed, broke contact, and snatched the dolphin shirt from Dirk’s unresisting hand.

“Quit making sense. It doesn’t suit you.”

The smirk grew more pronounced, and  _more_ frustratingly kissable.

Todd decided to just go with his gut this time.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked!! BIG BIG THING COMING SOON!!!!!!! excitement!!! <3 <3 <3


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